Familytherapy Dani Blu Eliza Eves Sharing Secre... -
No family therapist worth their license throws a bomb into a live room. First, the secret-keeper (e.g., a parent confessing a hidden addiction) works with the therapist individually to answer: Why now? What do you hope will happen? What is your greatest fear?
If you are a family member pondering whether to share a secret (not in therapy but considering it), ask yourself the Three Questions of Readiness: FamilyTherapy Dani Blu Eliza Eves Sharing Secre...
Never share a secret in a holiday dinner setting. Never share in writing (text, email) without a follow-up conversation. And never share to hurt; share to heal. No family therapist worth their license throws a
The therapist meets individually with other members, without revealing the secret, asking, “What do you feel is unfinished or unsaid in your family?” This primes the emotional ground. Never share a secret in a holiday dinner setting
Sharing secrets is not a panacea. It is contraindicated when:
Additionally, never force someone to share. Coerced confession is not healing; it is compliance.
Before a therapist can guide a family through sharing secrets, they must understand what kind of secret they are dealing with. Dr. Evan Imber-Black, a pioneer in this field, categorizes family secrets into three primary types: