Dr. Lomp mandates objective verification. The update is not complete until the following are true:
This turns cleaning from an abstract chore into a measurable science.
If Dr. Lomp were a real person, he would be a cross between an epidemiologist, an industrial cleaning engineer, and a system auditor. His core philosophy is simple:
"Every cleaning protocol must be updated every 18 months, or it becomes part of the problem."
Dr. Lomp’s “Cleaning UPD” is not just about wiping surfaces. It is a three-phase methodology:
In Dr. Lomp’s view, most cleaning failures stem not from laziness but from obsolete protocols — using the same checklist for a decade while pathogens, foot traffic, and materials change. dr lomp the cleaning upd
INT. HOSPITAL LAUNDRY – NIGHT
DR. LOMP stands before a mountain of cursed hospital gowns that are moaning. A sign reads: “DO NOT WET – THEY MULTIPLY.”
DR. LOMP: (into tape recorder) “Log entry 47. The linens have achieved sentience. Prognosis? Starchy. Beginning hydro- assault.”
He pulls the trigger on his pressure washer. A gown grabs his leg.
DR. LOMP: “Statistically, 9 out of 10 doctors prefer their laundry non-homicidal. I am the tenth.” This turns cleaning from an abstract chore into
He blasts the gown. It splits into two smaller gowns.
DR. LOMP: “Ah. Mathematics. My old nemesis.”
In early 2024, a 300-bed rehabilitation hospital in Ohio experienced a 22% increase in healthcare-associated infections (HAIs). Their cleaning team followed OSHA and CDC checklists to the letter, yet C. diff persisted.
Enter the Dr. Lomp Cleaning UPD audit. Key findings:
Results: Within 60 days, HAIs dropped by 64%. Patient satisfaction scores for “room cleanliness” jumped from 71% to 94%. and bio-hazardous anomalies
Dr. Lomp’s verdict: “They were cleaning hard, but cleaning wrong. The UPD saved lives.”
Dr. Lomp is not your average physician. In a world where hospitals have been overrun by supernatural filth, sentient grime, and bio-hazardous anomalies, Dr. Lomp has lost his medical license for “reasons involving a turkey baster and a defibrillator.” Now, he runs a rogue sanitation unit known as The Cleaning Upd (a deliberate misspelling of “Upgrade” to reflect his chaotic nature).
The game/series follows Dr. Lomp as he power-washes, bleaches, and pressure-hoses his way through increasingly disgusting environments—not to save lives, but to reclaim his prized possession: a limited-edition stainless steel bedpan collection locked in the hospital’s bio-waste vault.
Based on decontamination standards from OSHA, EPA, and CDC, the following seven steps define the "Dr. Lomp method":
Possible meanings: